Friday · private server · bring a headset
One last job before VI
One night only · no sequel planned
The plan
A group of us are jumping on GTA V on a private server on Friday for a few hours, to play some custom game types we tried the other week that turned out to be genuinely hilarious.
We thought we'd play a bit of V before VI comes out — as the last thank you and goodbye. And before my world gets a lot busier.
Below: what we're playing, and the two small jobs to get you in.
What we're playing
One suspect. Everyone else is the law.
You look like everyone else in the city, and the police have no marker on you — they only see the trouble you cause, once somebody phones it in. Walk past a copper like you belong there and he'll never know. Get spotted in a car and that car is marked until you swap it and become nobody again. Take what you can in ten minutes, then make it to a safe house — or sit tight and let the clock reward your nerve.
The one clever ideaThe police do get a marker labelled Suspect. It only tells the truth while a copper can actually see you.
Lose them and it becomes a guess: it keeps your last position and grows an arrow pointing where you were going — and goes on pointing that way, confidently, long after you've turned round and parked behind them. A circle swells around it until the game gives up.
So the counter-play isn't stealth. It's being boring, which is surprisingly hard with forty grand in the boot.
Choose your crimeThe crime you pick is the difficulty, and it sets your hour of the day and your map. Nobody tells the police which one you chose — they only learn what you are from what gets reported.
Every till asks the same question: take the lot slowly, with a silent alarm ticking that you can't see — or put the window through, take less, and go.
Nothing on your map at all — just wallets and parked cars, anywhere. Earns the least and is by far the hardest to catch, because nobody can guard a pavement.
Armoured vans worth more than a night of shops, and no clever way to do it: you stand at the back doors in daylight for several very long seconds, heard through walls.
Two names, one night, the most money in the game — and the best chance of going home with nothing.
Three more are drawn up: a Drug Runner working night into first light, a Car Thief in the dead hours, and the Smuggler — one laden lorry, corner to corner across the map, paid less for every dent in it.
There is no separate wanted meter: the cash in your pocket is your wanted level, so every pound you pick up is a small deliberate decision to make your own evening worse.
The city then answers in stages. A couple of computer cars trail you politely — they can never arrest you or end the round; the AI here is scenery with a siren. Then they close up and try to spin you. Then firearms are authorised force-wide, mid-round, and never handed back: until that moment the game refuses to let you die, and after it, it won't. Then the district shuts. You stop being chased and start being contained.
Not an ending — a bill. And he doesn't stay dead: the man in the black suit gets back up near the chase seconds later. Then another one. Yes, it's a Matrix joke. No, it doesn't help.
You have a pistol and almost no ammunition for it — not enough to fight with, just enough for three or four decisions you will think about afterwards.
The top jobThe protector knows the man. The killer only knows the neighbourhood.
Two names, two prices, and only one has to die. The police were briefed this morning, so both men sit exactly on their map. You get two circles — and the circle isn't centred on the man, so driving to the middle finds you a bus stop. You get out and walk, in daylight, looking at faces.
Both are guarded all round, and nothing tells the police which one you picked. That is the best standoff in the game: they choose between guarding a man and hunting a stranger, and you choose whether the quiet one is quiet because nobody is there — or because somebody very patient is.
The last two minutesLate on, three safe houses appear — handed to the police the same second they are handed to you, so it's guess-which-door rather than an exit. Getting inside ends the round on your terms, with a decent bonus.
But it isn't the best ending. Reach the whistle with nothing on their map, nobody having seen you in well over a minute, and yourself barely moving, and the game pays you more than the door does. Being dragged over the line pays nothing at all. Every other chase game rewards the spectacular escape; this one pays most to the bloke who turned his headlights off in a farmyard four minutes ago.
Getting nicked, incidentally, costs you nothing. Everything you've taken is already yours — an arrest only costs you the rest of the clock.
Wearing the badgeYou pick a uniform, then a vehicle out of the station car park. The vehicle is a class choice: it decides what you are for.
The pressure in his mirror — the reason he drives badly enough for someone else to spot him.
He doesn't know you're police until you light it, ram him or shoot. The ambush.
You see further and fit through gaps cars can't. No roof, no second chances.
Carries its own spike strips — drop one behind you while being chased.
Let one out and it runs at him from anywhere on the map. It can't bite or arrest, and he can't see it coming — he just hears it.
Goes where the road doesn't. If the round's gone rural, you're the only one not swearing.
His map says you are an armoured cash van. Empty, obviously. Go and be tempting.
Only counts a car it spots if he's speeding or already in a car you're looking for. A calm, unknown car driven politely is invisible from above. It punishes panic, specifically.
The border: a few roads out are manned each round. He sails past if nobody knows his car. If they do, the post spots him and chases.
Why it worksNothing wins outright. Everything has something that beats it — and that has something that beats it too.
Nothing here is a hard counter. Every arrow is a bet on what the other side is thinking — which is why it holds up over an evening.
Turning upJoin the server and somebody types /nick start. Two people minimum — though on your own it will hand you the suspect against computer police, which is the best way to learn the map. No need to learn controls: the game puts each button on screen the moment it matters.
Every round is written down and careers are tracked separately, so "who's the best Bank Robber" has a real answer. This has ruined several excellent arguments and is worth it.
Two or three criminals out at once, sharing one pot split between whoever is still standing — so if your partner gets nicked, you get his share. Which makes driving off and leaving your mate to the police a strategy rather than a betrayal.
Written against the live build. The mode moves fast, so if anything here disagrees with the game, the game is right.
Step one
Two things: a copy of GTA V, and FiveM on top of it. Neither is hard and the whole lot takes about twenty minutes, most of which is waiting.
Then you are nearly done. Steam, Epic or the Rockstar launcher — any of them counts. Launch it once normally so it is fully updated and signed in, then go to the steps below.
It is over a decade old and costs about the same as a round. Search "GTA V Steam key" and take your pick of the usual key shops — roughly a tenner most weeks — or wait for a Steam sale, which lands near enough the same price.
You want the PC version. Consoles cannot do custom servers.
Whichever launcher you own it on. Run it once so it updates itself and you know it actually starts.
Get it from fivem.net — that site and no other. Install it like anything else.
First launch it builds its cache off your GTA install. It takes a few minutes and looks like nothing is happening. Leave it be.
Step two
When: Friday evening. Hop on whenever you're free — it runs for a few hours and people drift in.
Straight to the server browser. Ignore it — ours is private and won't be listed.
That drops the console down over the top. It's a text box; that's all it is.
Hit enter and it'll load you in. F8 again closes the console once you're through.
connect gta.dazrave.uk
Tap and hold to copy · address subject to change — the final one goes in the group chat on the night